…you are such a mixed blessing
and how you always change. And how I love your changes, sweet July.
You feel like late summer lately
as you wrap your cool evening breezes around me like a light blanket
after each and every hot summer day.
I settle onto the couch, the bed, and I listen
to the wind,
to the birds quieting.
I hear the distant engines roaring, mostly those hotrod riders with arms raised on their handlebars like dogs begging.
Ah! The familiar bells from an unknown church ring out and soon the sounds of children will fade as day kisses the night and their parents’ work of turning in begins in earnest.
I no longer live in humidity and revel in the chilly evenings of high desert air. And I no longer live in fear (or won’t let it stick around for long, anyway).
I am mostly happy as a clam–even with all the challenges that keep presenting themselves to me daily as if to say, “Release! Release!” And I do. Under the post full moon, I let go of all that holds me back, of all that gets in the way of being anything less than loving and kind.
The true essence of my spirit is pure joyfulness. I feel like the person I worked out with recently who wears a button that reads, “I lost 50 pounds. Ask me how.” How am I more free from fear? Through courageous acts of story telling, writing, laughter, tears, and sharing my story in all my vulnerability on stage and in a book I am writing. I’ve also found deep satisfaction as I guide others to write and share their stories on stage. These “works” have all taken me to an irreversibly new and larger level of living. Not better than anyone, but for my evolution—more centered in the soulful, creative expressions of who I really am and what I am here to do and be—and it feels damn good.
Oh, how I am loving you, July! If I were to have the honor of naming a new child (of any species), I’d name him or her July. I just wish you’d stick around a lot longer. It took a while to warm up to summer and now, just as you, July, bring the climax of growing things, August looms around the corner of flying time. Everyone will all too soon begin launching into the future of what the new of September will bring…